#168 So much to talk about. Goodbye 2011, Welcome 2012 !

Hello. Miss me ? I was dying to write something for some days already. Every time I want to spill something out, my mind just cluttered with words and at the end, I just move on doing something else and abandon again, writing. But mostly, I wrote all my little thoughts on twitter and from there you'll know so much actually going on.

First of all, I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister. I hope you experience a lovely birthday and may god bless you.

It has been a long yet feel so fast journey throughout 2011. Oh yeah, left around 3 days for 2012 but I am sure nothing interesting or worth to blog about for upcoming days even actually there's a lot of thing that should be done before reaching January 2012.

I am thrill for 2012 as I believe it will be great for certain reasons. Of course, I have something that I would love to achieve but maybe in future I will write it here but three things for sure that I want for 2012 is that I can finish my degree, travel to few places and be with the same person I am in love with now (hopefully for more serious commitment ehemm if you know what I'm mean). I am pretty sure it will be one of the busiest year for me as I am working and at the same time try to finish my final semester (Yeayyy !!)

What’s new ? I am experiencing the most unorganized two weeks of my life ever. Long short story, something came up all of sudden and everything just mess up. All I know, whatever it is I can only trust myself and myself only. I take whatever that happened as life lesson. The problem is not mine, but being the closet person to the victim, I hereby felt all the pain and anger as well. All I can say is how did some people managed to act holy all the way while they're actually worse than you could possibly imagine? And how can you sleep at night knowing that you do bad things to people that helped you before and pretend that you are an angel in front of people that basically not knowing you personally ? The world is ugly because of people like you. I am talking about someone who is well-known in music/poetry industry. Have thousands of fans who basically worship that person without knowing that person is the worst ever.

And one more thing (about different person), I know you are a HIJABIS. Which is good and you follow what Allah basically want us to. But that’s not your call to judge people. It doesn’t give you RIGHTS to judge other people (like me) who basically free-hair. Yes it’s obvious sin that everyone can see. But hellooooo wearing hijab doesn’t make you perfect, not a ticket for you to judge other people. Not wearing hijab doesn’t mean I abandon other obligation as Muslim like praying for example. Still, I know how to behave and take care of myself. And at least I don’t go hug or menggedik with my boyfriend in public like some hijabis did (that’s even worst), drink alcohol or do other worst thing. You basically obligate this one thing (hijab) but pity you, judging people, talk bad about other people, it does not make you any prettier in God’s eyes. Well, I will stop before I hurt someone’s feeling (or already did, I am sorry). I just hope you got the point here.

Wow, so much whining and hatred there. Seriously, I hold no grudge but I can speak what's on my mind right ? :)

Other than that, settling up my fees yesterday and able to register subject for next semester (Ahhhh I am excited already !! )

Probably will be 17 units including project for final semester. Phewww !!

Oh yah, I make a little change in my blog. Blogging here since 2008 (but I deleted and hide most of it, left only post from 2010 and 2011 for others to read) as welcoming 2012 HAHAHA so not necessary. Have fun and Goodbye 2011, Hello 2010 !

Lots of love :D

#167 Story of Mister Smiley from Dunkin' Donuts

There's five pieces of donuts in a box including me. There's six of us actually, but one has been eaten happily by someone.

I know ! We look nyummy. We shout "pick me..pick me" so someone will eat us and doesn't left us in a fridge. There's Miss Sassy Strawberry, Mister Worm Chocolaty, Mister Five dots of Jelly, Miss Pink Blue Sprinkle and yes, me -- Mister Smiley. I guess this young lady has a problem which one should she pick first because all of us look delicious right ?

OH MY GOD !! She pick me, she pick me !! I bet she pick me because she's happy and I am Mister Smiley. I heard that she has done well on her Internship presentation. Hoorayyy !!

Oooohhh...there's surprise inside me. Custard filling makes the young lady happier.

Eat me fast so the custard won't spilled out. Nomm nomm nommm

Nomm nommmm nommmm she ate half of me less than a minute ! She must be really happy.

Here it comes. Nomm nommm and I am done withing another few bites. I'll meet my friends soon when she eats them.

#166 Yahooo for me :D

Yahoo for me. Why ? Because I am thru with my presentation for internship just now and I am very exultant and satisfy with my own performance. And I guess, good thing is that my lecturer is interested on new software that I’ve been using now and I am thrill. So yeays for me and I am a joyful kid. So now, I am going to emphasis on next thing that I should do, report and phewwwww !!

Yesterday, I was damn stress and freak out because my supervisor from university is someone that I never met so I do not know how he's going to be but everything turns out well and he is very nice. I hope he gave me the highest possible mark !

How stress I am the day before presentation, and how happy I am after :D

By the way, yesterday there's new gadget in the house. Yeayy come to mama !! I named it as Si Putih and it is something that has to do with a brand with a fruit name. Hihi maybe I'll introduce you in the next entry ? Anyway, have a good weekend later ! :D

#165 Food Review : Ben's Pavilion and Padi House Cyberjaya

I love food. Who doesn't ? The fact that I always experience good food but doesn't get a chance to tell you guys is such a dissapointment as I love to put pictures as well. So here we go !So I'll basically going to review two of my favorite place. I basically come here for the food and environment.

Ben's Pavilion serve a very good food and environment. Come here so many times already to eat different kind of foods. The place is usually packed with people especially indoor but I prefer outdoor since it offer better view and I am more comfortable to talk out loud there since it is an open space (hihi) and yeap, you are allowed to smoke outdoor (Yeay, to whoever that smoke, not ! LOL). For the pricing, I considered it as affordable and worth it to spend that much for the good food,and yeah, the tax and service charge is ooookayy lah ! Hahaha. It's at the 3rd floor, exactly above DC Superhero Store.

You basically can see this view from Ben's and they provide telescope there incase if you want to peep something. LOL !

The night view. See how romantic and chill it is ? We sit and talk there for hours !

Cheesecake with macadamia caramel and sundae

Nacho's (too bad they didn't separated the salsa sauce and everything makes the nachos not crunchy but hey, it served with melted cheese. Can't complain much !)

They served wine and other alcoholic drinks too. According to Govin (who drank the red wine from Australia ) it taste good. If you come here, you might want to taste the wide range of desserts, pasta, pie, appetizer and lots ! :D

Padi House Cyberjaya serves everything from chinese food, western and thai cuisine. Love the desserts too ! I love the green environment here and trust me, it has a superb view. Located beside Old Town White Coffee Cyberjaya (which I think from the same owner), you can basically sit at Padi House and order from OTWC or vice versa because I saw a lot of people doing that. I love the chinese style food there :D

View from where I sit

The dessert which I forgot what's the name

One of my favorite there - Baked Cheese Spaghetti Bolognaise and it's god-like and the cheese is very thick and mouthful !

See how thick the cheese are ?? NYUMSSSS !!

For the price range is not that bad. For me, the price and the food quality and portions is just worth it. I recommended you to try Hor Fun Hokkien noodle, Baked Cheese Spaghetti Bolognaise, Tomyam Seafood Fried Rice and the appetizers ! It also has other branches with slightly different on menu in Seri Kembangan and Petaling Jaya :D

Take care and enjoy the experience by yourself! :D

#164 December, baby.

Last month of the year is approaching and believe it or not in less than 29days, it will be 2012 ! Another year. I guess I should probably make this entry earlier not waiting until end of this month to wrap up this year. Lots of thing happened this year. Overall it is one of the meaningful year for me, probably not the best but still it is something not some wasted year.

Half of this year is probably the most tiring and disastrous year but half of it just fine and relaxing. Being in love, betrayal, breaking up and then find a new love which far lot better and stuff. Every year, I was hoping to be better than previous year and this year, I can say that I achieved it. I am more matured and whole lot stronger (I am a Superwoman!)

I basically have lots to achieve next year as now I am already making the list what to achieve (and the list still go on with a very long list of almost everything), do and my goal. Graduation and entering a real world which is working. Phewww thinking of it it make me go for a long deep breathe in and out.

Talking about this year, I have one of a good birthday celebration, love the relationship with friends, hating my previous relationship that is no respect and full of selfishness, love my financial state, fancy the time I’ve got to spend with friends, family and love one and most of all, I become better (in a way that I want to be). Nothing much. Nothing as “highlight of the year” or anything like that. It is just another one where I am blessed to live in it, experience a lot of things and be happy. And yes, this year, I am happy with myself. Probably not so happy with some situation that I have to face but I am basically happy.

Last year’s December, I have been in the stupidest and hurtful month ever but like I say to everyone else, I am glad that I am making that decision last year because whatever that happened before, giving me what I have now. I really hope that December will treat me right this year. Ah haaa !

Dramas, gossips and not so good thing will always there and sometime it is not something that I created but whether I like it or not, I have to deal with it because it is related to me or someone who need my help to get through all that. Remembering all that is just bittersweet. Something that I just love to reminiscence once in a while.

Wow, as I am writing this, I still can’t believe that it is December already. Wow. I’ve gone speechless. Probably next year there will be couple of event that will be “highlight of the year” which I dare not to talk now. But the most important thing about next year is that I need to really save up money for a lot of things. Business, life and probably saving for future whatever-I-want-to-do-with-the-money.

I am happy and content for all what I can say. I achieved most of thing that I wanted to and I am proud of myself. I hope everyone being happy this year and will be most successful next year. I am sure everyone has their own goal to achieve year by year and everything that has been desire only can be done when you know how to do it and work on it, not just dreaming of it but never find a way to make it happened.

Have a good month :D

#163 The future seems so bright

I am ambitious and it comes with a lot of hard work, trust me I am working on it.

So what it is ? It's involving music, my artwork, photos, fashion, travel (hope so) and lots.

And finally I came up with 5years-plan for my life. And for that, no more playing around if I want it to happen.

But for now (other than dying to go travelling), I am pretty occupy with internship (meet up with the supervisor, learn as much as I can because time is running out for 3D design and stuff, working on the report, study all the things that I supposed to present), teaching (as now I am a home tutor and tuition's center teacher) and doing not so important thing in the middle (I can name a lot). Well, it is probably sounds busy or depressing for you guys, but trust me I am enjoying it even sometime it can be really stressful. I rather being busy than sit around do nothing. This few months, my health has improved so much (maybe because I took supplement and eat right) and for self reminder, I shouldn't forget to make sure I am always okay in health.

I really hope that I won't be posting another ranting about not so important thing in life. Haha

This is one of so-called artwork that I made and yeap I decided to use "lubbyisasuperwoman" as my credit name.

"I don't procrastinate. I just like to do things later." Finally I have the right words to describe what I've been doing lately. Hahaha.

Take care, people. Have a nice day !

#162 Boyfriend for Saturday, Bestfriend for Sunday

First of all, watch movie with boyfriend yesterday. Tintin movie is awesome. You guys should watch it :)

Anyway, I spend my Sunday today with my bestie, Annabeth. She's basically studying now and we just can't stop excuse our self to the toilet since we drank so much here at Old Town Alamanda. HAHAHA

I can talk with my bestie about almost everything and after weekdays with work and not talking that much with other people, today is just the best part of the week.

Have a nice weekend :)

#161 Nouvelles

Awesome greeting to you guys !

I was taking long hiatus from everything and today I decided to do something. Here I am writing.

Well, I want to tell you guys that I might change my blog URL but I’ll tell earlier so you guys can still stalk me (hihihi) or maybe change into a new blog with a domain because I have a plan and something to do with the blog. Wait and see, god-willing.

Anyway, I actually have a project to do which involving nature, people and photographer. Since now I have Nikon baby with me, so I think I should really use it. So if you guys happen to know any nice place for me to go experience it and take pictures of the scenery or something do tell me !

Nothing much, nothing much. I want to do blog hopping now ! Ta-daaa J

#160 November sera belle

Hello November !

October has left us and it is just fine, treat me well. Early of November, Alhamdulillah good things already happened and I am looking forward for more !

While I’ve been browsing through stuff, I found this one website which really caught me. Webify me which some sort of some quiz from Mozilla that tell us how we connect with people outside and inside the World Wide Web. Pretty interesting as the answer came out in few items (like picture above) which has its own meaning. Well, let see what Webify say about me (or other people in Webify gallery).

You can change the background too before downloading the snapshot ! :D

Newspaper

Ah, the quest for knowledge, the search for truth! To you life is a never-ending lesson, and you learn more and more each day. Or maybe you just do the crossword.

Puppet

Everything's better with a monkey in it. Monkeys are fun, smart, and optimistic. You got this crafty monkey because it reflects your own delightful optimism and playfulness. Or maybe you like bananas?

Notebook

You're in good company — beloved by visionaries before you, the little notebook says you know how to express yourself and keep it buttoned up at the same time. You know the best experiences deserve a record.

Eyeglasses

Vanity has not prevented you from making sure your vision of the world is crystal clear, and for that we bestow the symbol of The Glasses upon you. It shows that while your foresight might not always be perfect, your hindsight is 20/20.

Friendship Pin

The Friendship Pin — an unbreakable bond between you and your BFF. It shows you are loyal, willing to wear your love on your sleeve (or sneaker).

Origami

This is a symbol of a symbol, which makes it extra relevant to you. You look at this folded paper and see a crane — you know the power of imagination.

Carabiner / Pencil (has the same meaning)

You have drawn the Mark of the Connection; Active, strong and reliable — that's you. People count on you to keep grounded at all times, even up in the air.

Compass

You have drawn The Compass, for you know which way is up. Looking for adventure and whatever comes your way, you're as prepared as a scout and as bold as a pioneer.

Friendship Bracelet

Your buddies will be overjoyed to learn that you've drawn the Friendship Bracelet. It stands for sociability and your talent for making each friend, online and off, feel special. So very special.

Business Card

The mark of the professional — you've defined yourself in the business world, and earned a fancy title for your efforts.

Shell

You like to set a course for adventure, your mind on a new experience. Your treasured memories are your reward. Therefore you richly deserve The Nautilus!

Smartphone

For you, the Internet cannot be contained to a desk or a cafe. You carry it with you, not a place you go, but a tool you use. This is your Swiss Army Knife™.

Buddha Statue

Infinite kindness and fortune, they smile upon you. You're searches lead you to answers, and you're feeling lucky.

So fun to play with it, I actually make the second one with slightly different answer (for few questions). Pretty much, it is just the same with some additional of awesomeness (HAHAHA)

And the different items means :

Comic

Endowed with unprecedented imaginative powers, you transport yourself to an alternate universe where you have X-ray vision, super strength, and some snazzy tights.

Paintbox

A symbol of risk and reward! You're no stranger to chance, to taking a walk on the 20-sided dark side. In the game of life, you're +10 Geekiness.

Date Book

You know what's next; you have it all written down in your date book -the symbol of The Organizer. You're the one we turn to when we are in doubt, for you hold the answers.

Action Figure

A significant cultural heroic icon looms large in your inner nerd psyche. Embrace it. (We really don't want to get into the whole trademark thing, OK?)

Watch

It's just a matter of time — to you that's not a dismissive phrase, because you know how important it is to stick to a schedule. Precise and reliable, you appreciate the reassuring tick of a well-run machine.

Tarot card

Aha, The Magician! You possess unusual powers, and can conjure up the truth from any situation. Also, you can turn the world on with your smile.

I would say most of it perfectly describe me.

Well, take the quiz and get to know how your Webify looks like, HERE !

Going through all this cute stuff (like arranging stuff that's inside your bag on the table), so random that I want to tell you guys the thing that I basically will carry on when going out is my planner, novel/magazine, car key, Blackberry, two perfumes, lipstick, compact powder, lotion, lighter, purse (with pile of receipt more than money -_-) and boyfriend stuff (which include the Iphone4, massive bunch of keys -_- and ciggs) if going out with him. I know, so random right ? So...imagine how heavy my handbag will be everytime going out *die*

Anyway, have an awesome November ! Phewwww 2011 almost end. Ready for 2012 ? (there's so much I look forward to)

#159 l'autre moitié

Hello ! It's been hell of a good month, just like September. Other than work, I manage to occupy myself with lots of thing basically.

Happy Newly Wed to Azam & Bie. Their love story is unique and yes, it is true kalau jodoh tak kemana. Travel to Tangkak, Johor attending their wedding with boyfriend who happen to be their good friend as well. Nice food and wedding, I must say.

Congratulations !

Since updating past weekends is lame and more to cerita basi even there's a lot happening, so here is what happened last week. Going to the National Zoo and spend half of the day there. Yes, I am basically excited like crazy and thanks for bringing me there.

Yeap, a candid pictures to show how excited I am. LOL !

Watching Reel Steal at 12.15am after that and yeap, it's a hell of a movie. Must watch !

On Sunday, we basically stick with a plan of 'not going out' but an unfortunate event occur which make both of us decided to go out (Haha alasan ! )

Going to Pavilion for Nando's and movie. What's your number is a good romantic comedy movie. Tea time at the Ben's (which personally my favourite place to hangout and the food is awesome)

Macadamia caramel with cheese cake and sundae, Latte, plain water with lemon.

Usually I spend my weekdays (at night) with different friends nearly every day so basically I just love spending weekend without the need to go out (but vice versa thing always happened HAHA) and enjoy few things that I did, usually.

Reading books :)

Marathon of Weeds, How I Met Your Mother, Supernatural and Vampire Diaries

Talking to Fluffy although I ridiculously know he won't response -.-

or just stay on bed, online or read and be lazy

but the best part is spending time with you :)

Probably will get busy since need to get few important things done by this week and early of November. Take care, people !

#158 September gone, October is here

September has been indeed lovely to me. I am a happy kid. This is so far, the best month of the year. Lots of things happened and everything was good. May October be nice to me. Take care, guys.

Take me to Europe and let's have a life there, together.

p.s : I am procrastinating a lot nowadays, it becomes my nature. Haha so that's include not being productive to update what's going on.

#157 Moving on and grow up

It’s only yesterday I crisscross again the cost for ticket flight and I’ve got plan to purchase it by this week since I save enough money by now. But all of sudden, I told myself that I could postpone, maybe not next year on January or February, maybe before I get marry or perhaps after get a stable job. I try to convince myself on that. Maybe, but not any time soon. Yes, I am talking about my nearly one year plan to go to Bali. I blameworthiness the PMS for this sudden decision which I think is my final decision at least for another 6months. Just not now or next year. It’s such a nuisance.

Internship was fine. Now I know how sadistic and merciless it is to wake up in the morning and knowing that you have to go over and done with learning and working process from 8.30am-5.30pm. True what everyone said, studying way much better. Being the only girl (the other kakak come once in awhile only) and intern here is well, let say I have no word to designate it. It is just a little bit awkward being in environment of all guys who are superbly good on programming and developing system. Lucky I am working at MTDC which very near to my best friend, Annabeth. At least I get to get out for an hour to chill with her and meet up after work.

Life is currently fully engaged with happy things. I am blessed. Alhamdulillah.

As much as I would like to say that breaking up is fine for me (especially it's a mutual decision), it is actually true until the ex create drama by tweeting and call me names. It does not hurt but yet offended me as I am moving on pretty well and try my best to keep the friendship. But now, I just don’t feel like anything worth to hold on to anymore. Lost one person who does not really contribute much in my life is nothing but fine. But thanks, I do realize so many things and I can look at the past (if I want to) and instead of cry, I would laugh.

Anyway, having a lot of good friends which from the different gender doesn’t make someone as a bitch. Grow up, please.

As usual, too many interesting things happened. Meet up with new people, going to new places, experience new things, but new stuff, and make/cross to do/buy list. Lots. I love how the life’s work right now.

Till then, take care, people !

#156 Must go on

I miss writing. Put my thoughts and every sagacity that I can find in my mind into writing. And I feel that now is the finest time to do as I have pretty much lots to round about.

How’s Raya for everyone? To be honest, this is the lame(st) Raya for me and my family. The best part is when I get to meet up with everyone, gather around at my parent’s home, spending more time with my sisters and brother catching up, spending more time listen to my mom’s nagging (Hahahaha) and spending more time being daddy’s girl. And yes, I am being a little productive by visiting my granny twice and meet up with few friends there. And the worst part is tradition to visit my relatives seems not applicable anymore, I don’t know why.

What I love the most about being away from my typical life is that I get to miss things that I usually do, thinking about people I usually met and for this holiday, I received one parcel that for me, the sweetest someone may possibly do for me when being far-off from me.

Being single never been this pleased for me. It is really odd that I am not that devastated over the break up compare to previous relationship(s). I know that I make a right decision to give myself more time and space for a lot of great things to happen and these three weeks, no one can envisage what great things that happened to me. I am blessed, Alhamdulillah.

Anyway, do you know in order for your life to be improved (other than you yourself try to work things out) is to be around positive people, people that mak e you happy and talk to? For that, I must actually thank a lot of people for giving me a better life, the great one. Right now, money comes along just fine, my life is organized perfectly the way I want, I am looking after people who at the same time, looking after me as well in a very warm way and ahhh too many to tell.

And today is the second day of internship. I’ve been doing nothing and that is why I’m blogging to make myself look ermm more occupying (hahahaha). The work environment is just fine and too soon to tell anything now.

Now, I am finally can take a fine breathe, September is here and lots of plan and more great things to come. For now, I have only two things that really matters to me, work and existence. But existence means every single connection I’ve made with people. Ouh ya, and can’t wait for a lot of meet ups with friends, seniors and lover.

Too many too tell actually but it’s my lunch time and someone waiting for me now. Have fun, take care guys J

#155 Something to be told

I remember that we started our first dance and it continues with several dates and we get serious and declaring on July 2010. It was quick but when does love being measure by the time you devote with your love one ? Then it leads to dates that happened from night until dawn, food galore and many other stuff, I must said what couple usually did. Somehow, things changed. Disloyal, dishonest and betrayal are making fun of us and we try our best to hold on. We forgive each other and we try so hard to make us happy, as couple. Things changed. It usually changed and there we are from having non-stop conversation to being so quite with each other. We barely speak, hardly laugh and the only thing we are good at that moment is pretending things are okay, try so hard and argue about things. Deep down inside, we were still strongly in love with each other. But things happened and we lose our battle. As we breaking up, it was 1 year and 25 days of being together. We learn things, I learned to be better and it has made me stronger than ever. We make a mutual decision and here we are not having each other as boyfriend and girlfriend but remain friends. At the moment, this is the best to do. Both of us being busy and other priority are waiting. For some reasons, we are better as friends, for now. Some part of what happened is just sad but I dare to say it is a good decision that now, we both can see things contrarily and meet up with new individuals and learn things. It is certainly not a gloomy thing, it just something we should take as lesson. It’s harder than we both thought but we always going to be okay. But of course, all the memories will always be remembered.

Anyhow, splitting up is not the reason why I am being so discreet and update less on my blog. It is just, same reason, I rather being lazy on bed or going out with friends and nothing much to update. People might think I am sad or anything but I am not. Yes, breaking up is something that I try to avoid but things happened and you just have to keep move on and be happy.

Ramadhan goes really well. After 5years, I get to celebrate my first Ramadhan with my parents. Last year I didn’t get a chance to Iftar with my parents at all. Been to Ipoh for first week of Ramadhan and I get back to Putrajaya to settle some stuff and I am going back to Ipoh soon and celebrate Raya with family, of course. In a little while, I will go for internship which kind of thrilled and daunting at the same time.

I have experienced few great things since last month. And I just couldn’t ask for more. Being with some people, somehow can light up your days. Thank you.

One thing that just piss me off is that, this one person who can't get a life and messed up with mine. Can you just forget about what happened almost 2 years ago ? You really can't have enough of me, don't you ? You really need a life man, or at least a girlfriend to deal with your shit so you stop messing with others. Same goes to your beloved not-related-biologically sister. It is really fascinating on how this both people couldn't stop gossiping silly thing about me. Awwwwwww :)

Someone ask me last week, how I want my future to be but fascinatingly being me who always have a plan for things, actually couldn’t response to that. Being where I am now, it’s too confusing and difficult to make decisions about life. I might have some things figure out but the rest remain undecided. Somehow, I couldn’t wait to graduate, secure my job and start planning again. I take a long pause, sigh but then I came out with an answer that “I want to be everything so I want to start doing things that I love and see how far it could take me.”

Right now, I am living a normal life. Socialize with people, being sluggish and create scenes on my mind. That’s my routine other than keeping myself fit and happy.

Say no more.

Have a good day. Happy Ramadhan and Eid, people !

Current obsession

#154 It's okay not to be okay

You can never tell what people are thinking and feeling unless they tell you, and usually they lie. You ask them, ‘whats wrong?’ and they say ‘nothing’. You accept this because it’s easier than digging for the truth. People smile when they want to cry, they laugh when they want to scream and shout. They pretend like nothing is wrong because they don’t want to face the truth. Things aren’t always rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you gotta scream and cry your anger and sadness to the world, because you can only hold it in for so long before something in you snaps. So when you want to cry, cry. When you want to scream, scream. Don’t hide behind fake smiles, it’s okay to not be alright.

But always remember that things will always be okay. It takes some time :)

#153 Port Dickson

Hey Port Dickson, we've met again last Thursday. Now I've already miss the sounds of your wave when it almost hit the shore and the smells of you. I miss the coldness and breeze of the morning. I miss the scorching sun and the chill of the sea.

I miss to stand in front of the balcony and look blankly through the sea.

When will I meet you again ?

#152 Less talk, more writting

Time passed by real hastily and it’s been a month since my semester’s break. Lots of thing happened and I hardly ever feel bored even I stay at home most of the time. Thanks to UNIFI, Youtube and pile of downloaded movies. I am not working now, for some reason, only teaching but I am planning on finding a job so that I will have more dynamic days. Hanging out, do crazy things are not the kind of activity that making my day productive, unfortunately. I don’t really have the urge to blog about what happened daily. Where did I go, with whom, what am I doing and stuff. I just don’t want to update although there are some moments that I would love to share but I end up keep it to myself or share it with friends only. From Broga, crazy trip, a very nice garden theme wedding of Hani's sister, romantic dinner and some breath taking moments. So much to tell, actually.

Alhamdulillah, I get my result for 2nd year 3rd semester last week and I am happy as my pointer is getting better and better. But there's some issue that happened and I hope my faculty will try to settle it as soon as possible.

I had a horrendous dream last night that I wouldn’t dare to talk about. Somehow, I didn’t cry and I am pretty strong in that kind of situation. However I can’t imagine how I would react if it’s really happening. Even in that dream, I feel very empty until I couldn’t even think or react because how shocked I am. I suddenly awake and my heart beating so fast until I have trouble to breathe. Seriously, I know this thing will happen on day but I don’t want it to happen anytime sooner, at least until I seriously think the time has come. But all of it is in Allah’s will. I just can pray and pray and be strong. *tears*

Living here with my sister somehow I am feeling awkward. Not that I am not welcome here but I find it necessary for me to keep myself as invisible as I can be, so either I spend time alone in my room or going out with friends. There’s nothing much to do when at home, just a simple chores to do (which now I don’t know whether I should help with or not because my sister text me saying that I ruin her scarf – sorry, I am just trying to do the laundry) and most of the time I am laying on bed and having unbreakable relationship with my notebook, journal and Blackberry. My sister is my bestfriend because she can be a good listener, adviser and open minded most of the time but we don’t really have time to talk or spend time together nowadays. Either she’s working or busy with classes or I was out somewhere or I just don’t feel like talking and keep myself quiet in the room.

I am going back to Ipoh real soon. Catching up with friends there, helping with friend’s engagement day and of course, have a splendid time with my parent. But it is sad to know the fact that I can’t go back more than 3days because I am teaching, here. Speaking of engagement, few friends who are around my age, either engaged or married. Few mean more than 10 people. And that’s make me feel like being 22 is hoary. To be honest, I didn’t plan on settle down for another 5 years. I don’t really have any plan towards tying knot or anything. Relationship can be the most gruelling thing you ever do. It is like a long run with no end and at any time you can injure yourself, cramp or any possibility injuries.

Seriously, I can’t wait for new season of EPL this upcoming August. I believe Liverpool is getting stronger and well, my favourite football club, Manchester United will try their superlative to win EPL for the 20^th times this season. Last week, I watched Liverpool vs Malaysia at Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil and it was awesome. Although it is not my favourite club but Govin and Kaka are the die-hard-fan of the club and I am crazy about Andy Carroll. Watching him playing alive is somehow make me wild a bit and I just can’t stop screaming his name. What I like the most is the fact that Malaysians are very supportive and cheer for both team.

There are some exciting things happened these two weeks. All I can say is that good things will come to whoever that seeks for it or be patient waiting for it.

When all my friends are keep updating their twitter and Facebook about how much weight they put on or how crucial it is for them to be on diet, I am somehow having weight loss. It is not something that I enjoy nor sad me either but the mission now is to make sure that I have an ideal weight so I won’t easily get sick. I am 45kg now with 162cm height. The only thing that stresses me up now is those stubborn pimples. Urghhhh.

I miss beach and I am going to see you real soon, baby. I am having a trip to Port Dickson with friends for two days this Thursday. Can’t wait.

Finally, Harry Potter has come to an end. It is just sad as it was my childhood. I grew up with the books and the movie and still remember how patiently I wait for each year to pass by for another new movie of Harry Potter. Anyway, thanks to the boyfriend for the surprises. And thanks for being a very nice person this few days.

It has been 367 days and still counting.

Being me, I just couldn’t live my day without planning. I am looking forward for September as I have so many plans to get done.

I should stop here from murmuring stuff. Have a good day, people :)

#151 Waiting

I am waiting to say and do the right thing at the right time, right day and right moment, for myself.

Oh my, life is good and I feel awesome today.

#150 Just stop

Can we just stop blaming each other ?

Can we just stop making mistake ?

Can we just stop hurting each other ?

Can we just stop lying to each other ?

Can we just stop every hurtful things ?

I just miss us.

Even the fact that we never really have an honest relationship.

Let's start over with or without each other.

I miss you. I miss us.

Be nice to me.

How many tears should I shed to make everything better ?

Hello July, you suppose to treat me nicely. So, please

Currently listening to Coldplay - Warning Sign

#149 Two weeks time

Hello. I almost forgot that I suppose to update this blog about what has been happening last 2weeks before exam. Ouh yes, exam is over and I am free and only will come back to UKM around April 2012 !! :)

June 13

Dinner at Austin Steak House with Rick, Govin and Amiera. Then karaoke along with all of them and Ruzain too. Afterwards, lepak at mamak.

June 15

Meet up with Nini, Maisarah and Shafiq at Coffee Bean, Mid Valley. So much fun and so many things that we all talked about. I am looking forward for the next meet up !!

June 16

KL Gangster with Kaka, Ruzain and Apam. Karaoke and mamak afterwards.

June 17

Late dinner with Noh, Ruzain, Govin, Aker, Kaka, Zhilun and some other friends. Sleep over at friend's house.

June 20 - June 22

Final exam.

And now, I am trying my best to settle of things and get ready to get home. There's so much things to do still.

The quickest update ever. Take 10 minutes. Hahahaha. I am currently having internship workshop. Sheeeshhhh.

Anyway, have a good weekend and take care :)

Embrace your awesomeness !!